April 2010
i want some ice cream. . .
half-baked. yummmmmm.
goin' through it.
i dont even know what to say. but i think i have finally hit the marker where i want to really change. like seriously. my ex messaged me saying “i love you baba.” and well, i didnt even respond to that. he doesn’t deserve my time. tomorrow, i am getting highlights and possibly a tattoo. i am changing every single thing about me.
i don’t want to be the same broken girl...
i keep on having dreams about him. . .
every night, i dream about the guy that i don’t talk to anymore. i envision what i wish would’ve happened. it beyond sucks. i put so much hope into this one guy…that it makes it hard to just give up so easily. i don’t bother him or anything like that…but i think about him so often that it hurts. i blame myself for his not wanting me. everyone always says, it happens...
"chicken wings on string. that's how i hang."
seriously lloyd? lol. i never understood why this line needed to be included in the song…what do chicken wings have to do with meeting your girl up?
i want to shake my booty. . .
lol. good thing i am going to a party tomorrow! :)
the power of a smile. . .
so…i am walking. and whenever i see someone and actually look at them, i always smile at them. so…i smiled at this guy. and…at first he looked kind of confused. lol. but then, he stopped and started talking to me. lol. hey ricky! (i think that was his name. lol.) but i love that he felt he could approach me off of a smile. most people think i am a bitch because i am shy....
classes shouldn't be allowed to be this boring...
-_____- im in here dying dude.
to top it all off,
I didn’t find out the cutie’s name…first I was embarrassed because I looked like shit. then, I decided I was going to at the end of class, but he leaves early -__- I was pissed…and then as I’m walking down the hill, he walks straight past me….agh!! but he was walking hella fast and had head phones in..so eh..gah! It just ain’t happening. Whateverrr. Today...
Not the best start...
so i am on my way out the door and I cannot find my keys anywhere! stressed me out a little bit. :-/ and then…I get to class but my nose is running so I go to the bathroom…then, out of nowhere I feel sooo nauseous. I go back to class but then I start gagging a little, so i run to the bathroom and throw up. Whyyyyy? I throw up all the damn time…i didn’t even eat this...
ericdtx asked: saw ur reblog. thanks!! :) *blushing*
got. . .a girl outta college. sorry ladies, but...
oh dream…lol.
i spend too much of my time digging myself out of...
instead of just walking around the holes and putting my time towards more productive things…
for real? you are such a charmer. lol. too bad you...
ericdwills replied to your post: i can’t stop…
even if u don’t cross his, know that u cross mine :)
i can't stop. . .
thinking about the guy that i don’t talk to anymore. i can’t help but to feel like i fucked it all up. if only i hadn’t done this or that, i would still have a chance. i guess he is just not as perfect as i thought he was. or, i am just not meant to get anything that i want…eff me.
the worst part is that i know that i neverrr cross his mind…and i think about him all...
last night. . .
i had this dream. and, well, it was pretty freaking amazing, so i am gonna have to share with you world. so…this girl invited me to go to a party this weekend, so my dream was all about the party.
i decide to bring my dad with me to the party. and he drives motorcycles, so we drove on the motorcycle to the party…if you guys don’t already know, every time motorcyclists see each...
today. . .
is my last chance to find out the name of the hottie in my stats class! AGH! ! ! balls, you better develop soon. lol.
1 tag
beauty.
so easy to recognize it in others. but when it comes to ourselves, we can be so critical.
isolation...
i know that all of my tumblr posts are about the same damn thing. but this is my life. and it is what is happening right now…
anywhoo, i just feel…hurt…to the point that i want to isolate myself. i just feel like…ugh…i am done trying so hard with guys. so now, any guy that tries to talk to me…i don’t really give him the time of day. because, i feel like i...
dude.
today hurts. i am feeling like shit.
for some reason, i just wanna go outside in my underwear and run around in some rain…maybe the fact that it is liberating. or i’m just crazy. either way, it’d be dope.
i feel trapped by my thoughts. . .
someone get me out of here.
if i get one more damn notification.
i am about to break my freaking phone. EFFF YOUUUU dude.
i feel like. . .crap.
i am driving myself crazy. i think too much.
i want something completelyyy brand new.
i wanna be with someone in a relationship like i’ve never experienced before. whennnn i find someone. gah. i know i sound desperate. but, i am honestly just thinking about what i want and don’t want right now, so that when it finally does come my way, i will be ready. but, i am honestly in no rush.
i keep getting my ex-boyfriend's facebook...
damn you iPhone facebook…
-_____-
disappointment.
so…about a couple of weeks a go, i met a guy. i didn’t think anything of it…but damn, then i started to really like him. i could really picture myself with him. he didn’t seem like every other dude that i had met. long story short, we don’t talk anymore. =/ i put all of this hope into the idea that i had finally met someone real, someone special, someone different....
sometimes i feel like life loves me. but most of...
i can only try to get away for so long.
angry.
thanks mom…thanks life.
so. . .i got a message from someone telling me...
CRAZY! … like i didn’t know this already. and then i just go on his page and he has some pic with this girl. who looks like 16… …#1: grow up. and…#2: why were you just hanging out with me like 5 days a go saying you love me if you got that on line? idiot. lol. if you need to flaunt that in everyone’s face, you’re an idiottttt. i am not even jealous one...
so. . .i have been taking baths.
and that stuff feels hella good. i still take showers, because i don’t feel like baths really get you clean. but it is hella relaxing. i wouldn’t mind doing this all summer long. btw, 3 weeks left! helllllllll yeaaa!
had so much fun with my family today.
pictures to come soon! :) :)
